Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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