Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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