he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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