His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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