Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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