explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize