I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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