If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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