Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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