How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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