You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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