he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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