i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
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So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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