i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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