4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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