Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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