i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
no. you can't hotbox the world.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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