well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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