Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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