Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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