ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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