just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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