no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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