Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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