I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize