I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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