I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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