Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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