What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
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