After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize