im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize