it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
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i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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