your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize