3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh god it's open bar.
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