She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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