haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize