so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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