Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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