Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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