Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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