We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize