We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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