Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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