Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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