Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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