Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
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