yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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