oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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