I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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