things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
even my farts smell like vagina
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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